I was born in Whitstable a fair few years ago, long before it was 'discovered' by 'celebrities' and trendified the way it is today. I do not live there now and it has been enormous fun watching it evolve from a real, albeit a bit down at heel, little port to the voracious tourist trap it is now, ready to suck the lifeblood out of any DFLs (Down From Londoners) it can get its fangs into.

Winner of the 2005 Hotel award in the "utterly enjoyable mild eccentricity" category, the Hundred House Hotel certainly ticks all of the boxes in the “nutty” stakes.

It's great to discover a secret restaurant - one that you just don't expect to be there. If that restaurant is itself unusual and full of surprises then it's even better and the Bathhouse is both.

The mission was set, we were to review Hengist in Aylesford on a Sunday afternoon. This was to prove my most dangerous mission yet as when we got out of the car there was a huge explosion from behind some buildings opposite the restaurant including some flying shrapnel (I kid you not!) which even caused some of the locals to come and survey what had happened.

Now, settle down while I write you a story of the worst meal I have had in my fifteen years of writing about restaurants. It is a sad story, and has some scarey bits in it too, so you might want to find a sofa that you can hide behind.

The Michelin starred Chez Bruce is very famous. In fact some might say it is South London's most famous restaurant. We'd been meaning to go for ages and finally did. Make sure you book, as, being famous, it's well patronised.

We got there at 5.30pm, just in time. Plenty of tables when we arrived, but five minutes after we sat down, a long queue had materialised. It’s right opposite Eurostar Arrivals, so I guess these were people wanting a meal before whizzing off to France.

We booked for lunch on a cold Thursday in February, the welcome was warm and attentive, but formal. After we had ordered, along came the amuse-gueule: tiny, delicious eggy things. Our starters both came on oblong plates: Pan-fried Foie Gras from 'Les Landes' on toasted Brioche, with Fig Salad and Red Wine Syrup for me, Carpaccio of Gently Smoked Diver-caught Scallops, with Black Truffle Foam and Dressing for him.

If you are a regular Spy reader you are in for a treat. In 2007, we wrote about the sublime delights of Sophie's in Exmouth. You can read the original review here. We recently heard from another correspondent who has been able to update us with startling new developments.

The food and service are good, but you need deep pockets. The Swan in West Malling is a pub that has been converted in to a modern airy brasserie style restaurant serving British dishes, such as Oxtail Ravioli, Duck Terrine, Aberdeen Angus Steak, and Sussex Pork Belly. A la carte starters are typically around £8 and mains £20, with “sides” at £3.50 each.